Elysium is Here by D. Hazel c2002
Page 4 |
|
Part 9
Despite his protests that he wanted to stay awake all night, Aurelio fell asleep in his father’s arms. Maximus picked him up and carried him into his bedchamber, planting soft kisses on his face as he walked. "My sweet boy," he murmured to him before laying him down tenderly and covering him with a blanket.
Our boy stirred as the blanket was laid over him, "Papa? You won’t go without…"
"I would never leave without saying goodbye," Maximus whispered to him. "We have much to discuss before I go, son. Sleep now. I will be here in the morning." A final touch of the child’s hair, and Maximus turned to me with a look of resigned sadness.
"To bed, husband," I said softly, holding my hand out to him. He nodded wordlessly and followed me.
We did not sleep that night; we made love over and over again, as though we could climb inside each other and hide forever. I wept silently as the feel of my husband’s body took me over the edge of ecstasy.
Once, during the height of our passion, he suddenly stilled, and I looked up to see his face hovering inches above mine. His gaze, at once erotic and tender, burned into my soul, as his hands braced on either side of my head. "There is no end to this," he rasped. "This is forever. Our son was right…Elysium is here…" His hands grasped my hair and his lips seared mine as I raked his sweat-slicked back with my nails, trying to hold him to me for all time
As the sun rose, Maximus left our bed and prepared to leave. I left the bedchamber silently; preparing to leave for battle is almost like a ritual to a soldier, and I wanted to allow him his privacy. I went into the kitchen, where I found our son already awake and seated quietly at the table. "Well, you are a little mouse this morning," I teased him. "I did not hear you get up."
He looked at me solemnly. "Mama, I did not dream it, did I? Papa must go away today?"
"Yes, son, he must," I told him. "You did not dream it." I sat down and put my arm around his shoulder; he leaned into me, and we sat that way in silence for a long time.
Finally, Aurelio said, "What is taking Papa so long?"
"There is much to do, little one. But let me see." I went to the bedchamber and stood at its entrance, but did not enter, for I could hear my husband’s anguished voice in prayer:
"Ancestors, I honor you. Blessed Mother, be by my side; help me do the right thing in all things. Blessed Father, stand by my family and protect them until I can be with them again…please…help me do the right thing…"
I walked back to Aurelio. "Papa is fine. He’s just saying his prayers," I said lightly. As I was about to sit down, Cicero appeared in the doorway, his face stern. "They’re here," I said without a hint of question in my voice. He nodded apologetically as I caught a glimpse of Quintus over his shoulder. I nodded back, turned to call my husband…
And there he stood. Not my husband, not my gentle farmer, but General Maximus Decimus Meridius, in full tunic and armor, his hair closely shorn, and a sword at his hip. We stared at each other, agony clearly written in both our faces, until Cicero said, "General, your escort has arrived."
"I know, Cicero," Maximus replied solemnly. "Thank you. Please ask them to wait outside – and saddle Argento, please. I shall be out presently." Cicero nodded, and left to join the Praetorians
Maximus then crouched in front of Aurelio, who stared at him as if he were from another world. "Now, little one, here is what I need to tell you," he began. "You must be a very good boy for your Mama, and for Paulina, and Antoninus, all right?" Aurelio nodded as Maximus stroked his hair. "And take excellent care of your pony – "
"General," Aurelio interrupted.
"What?"
"My pony. I shall name him General."
Maximus smiled. "A strong name. And I thank you for the honor. Take good care of General, and let Antoninus show you how to saddle and ride him. For when I return, we shall go riding in the fields together, and I am sure I will not be able to keep up with you." He looked deeply into our son’s eyes. "Are we agreed?"
"Yes, Papa," Aurelio sniffed before falling into his father’s arms for a final embrace.
"I love you, my blessed little man," Maximus whispered in his ear.
"I love you, Papa," Aurelio answered him.
Maximus stood and turned to face me. I was determined I would not cry; I would not be the weeping, hysterical woman throwing herself at her husband’s feet. "Everything should be in order until the harvest," he said in a businesslike tone. "There should be some good people available to help with the harvest, if I cannot return by then."
"I know them well. And old Gaius’s nephew should be old enough to join us this year. He’s very strong, I’m told. And much younger than you," I joked.
"Is he now? And is he handsome, too?"
"There is no one in the world as handsome as my husband," I replied as he stepped close to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I touched his cheek. "Be careful, be brave, and come home to us."
He pulled me into his embrace. "As quickly as I can, I promise," he said fiercely. As we separated, he grazed my lips with his fingertips, and smiled. "Marking my place."
I smiled back briefly, and then turned serious. I placed my hand against my heart. "Strength and honor," I told him softly.
He leaned back toward me, our foreheads touching as our hands entwined. "And love," he added in a whisper. "Always, love." He turned to go, but our hands would not disengage. He squeezed mine one last time, then forced himself to let go, and headed to the door. He saw the Praetorians, including Quintus, waiting for him, and straightened up to a full, regal stance.
Aurelio stood by my side. "See you soon, Papa," he called.
Maximus looked over his shoulder, but did not turn back. "The gods willing, my heart. I will see you again," he said, and walked out the door to the waiting escort.
I watched my husband leave us, his form silhouetted in the doorway, as tears coursed down my face. Gods and ancestors, keep him safe for me, I pleaded silently. And bring home soon, for good.
For forever.
I am the wife of a soldier of Rome. And to whoever reads this journal, I offer this warning: your heart will break, many times over. You will watch the man you love walk away from you, looking like a stranger. He will go to unknown lands and do unspeakable things, and sometimes, he will return to you broken and sick. He may even return to you only to be buried. But mark my words well; if the gods smile upon you, you may be fortunate enough to be the wife of someone like Maximus Decimus Meridius; farmer, soldier, husband and father. So many men, wrapped up in one. And all the pain and tears will be worth it.
He has been gone for a very long time. I hope he is counting as I am, for today it is two years, two hundred sixty-five days, and the hole in my heart is larger than it has ever been. But, I have promised my son I would watch him teach his horse to trot today; we have built a small corral on a hill overlooking the gates, so Aurelio will be able to see his father approaching when he comes home.
Every day there is a reason to go on.
And so I wait...
|
|
|
