Elysium is Here

by D. Hazel

c2002

Page 3

Part 7

Sunny spring days became warm summer nights, and there was no word from Caesar that my husband – or rather, that General Maximus Decimus Meridius of the Felix Legions - was needed. A small germ of hope started to grow in my heart that perhaps he was home for good this time.

Maximus' strength returned, and he spent the days planting, tilling and tending the fields of our farm; as the sun began to set, he would return, grimy and sweating, but radiant with an inner happiness and satisfaction. His beautiful face, that had been so pale upon his return, was now glowing and tanned; no barber’s instrument had touched his hair, which now fell nearly to his shoulders in a cascading wave of dark honey. I would watch him from the doorway of our chamber as he removed his sweaty clothing to prepare for the evening meal, drinking in the sight of his body and marveling that this man belonged to me.

Summer came and went, and we prepared for two very important events: the fall harvest, and Aurelio’s birthday. As I planned the menu for his birthday dinner, Maximus was in charge of our son’s gift, and he was quite secretive about it. "Husband, " I would beg him, "You must tell me what you have planned. It’s not fair that I should not know. I am his mother, you know!"

Maximus just folded his arms and regarded me coolly. "You will know soon enough. Everything is arranged." The cagey smile that spread across his face made him look only a bit older than Aurelio himself, and I had no choice but to smile back and allow him his little subterfuge.

The morning of Aurelio’s birthday dawned bright and sunny, and although I knew there was much to do, I was loath to leave our bed. Yawning, I rolled over to see if Maximus had awoken; he had not, and was lying on his stomach, one sturdy arm hanging over the side of the bed and the other at his side. The bedclothes were tangled and nearly tossed aside, and his back was completely exposed to me. Unable to resist the temptation before me, I gently smoothed my hand along the muscled planes of my husband’s back, stopping briefly to watch it rise and fall as he breathed deeply in slumber. I stopped again at the small triangle of freckles on near his left side; until his recent campaign, they were the only blemishes on his otherwise flawless skin. Now, however, I could also trace the angry, puckered scar that ran nearly from his side to the center of his back.

How close we had come. How close Maximus had come to dying, cold and alone, in the middle of some blood-soaked battlefield, the only sound in his ears the screams of other dying soldiers. No whispers of comfort, no gentle arms to enfold him. My husband, the gentle, good-hearted farmer, deserves to die old, fat and happy in his bed, with the loving sound of my voice in his ear to ease his journey to Elysium.

I was suddenly overcome with emotion, and leaned my head down to place a soft kiss on the scar. He stirred then, my head still resting on his back. "Hmmm?" he hummed as he broke the surface of consciousness. "Cilia?" He lifted his head slightly from the pillow, his hair hanging in front of his sleepy, confused eyes.

I sat up and pushed the curtain of hair back. "Good morning," I said softly.

He seemed to sense my distress, and rolled onto his back to observe me. "Are you all right?" he asked, stretching his arms over his head languidly.

"I am well, my love. Perfectly well." I placed another kiss on the center of his chest, over his heart, then a brief one on his lips. "You?"

"I…um…fine," he said, still trying to gauge my mood. Rubbing the last remnants of sleep from his eyes, he sat up. "Are you sure everything is all right? You look on the verge of tears." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Bad dream?"

"Something like that, I suppose, but all is well now. No bad dreams, no bad anything today. For it is our son’s fifth birthday, old man!" I tugged at his hair, teasing him. "Soon there will be gray in that beard of yours, and silver in those long country farmer’s locks."

"Well, then, I suppose you’ll have to look for a younger, more virile lover, lady," he teased back as he began to leave our bed.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down. "You are all the lover I will ever want," I growled before assaulting his lips with mine. I pulled away, leaving him breathless. "All I will ever need."

We finally left our bed some two hours later, and proceeded with the birthday celebration. It was a very small affair, just Maximus, Aurelio and I. Some of the hands came by, bringing with them hand-carved toys. As Aurelio played with a small-carved horse, I noticed Maximus watching him intently. He walked over to his son, and said, "Awfully small, don’t you think?"

"Maximus," I chided, "That was a gift from Cicero. He carved it himself!"

"I know. But I don’t think Aurelio could ever learn to ride a horse of that size!"

Aurelio’s head shot up from his toy, and his eyes regarded his father with a hopeful wariness. "Papa?"

"Come, little man. I want to show you something outside." Aurelio leapt up, and followed his father to the door. Maximus stopped and turned to me. "Mama, you may join us if you’d like."

"Oh, thank you," I said, my voice dripping sarcasm, but my face lighting up in a smile. We all went outside, and there, being tended by one of the hands, stood a pony. Aurelio’s pony.

"Mine?" Aurelio gasped as he took a tentative step toward the animal.

Maximus smiled. "Yours."

I was sure Aurelio’s squeal of delight could be heard in Rome itself as he threw himself into his father’s arms, then mine. He then ran over to the pony, and fascinated, began to stroke its mane. "Oh, papa, he’s the best pony in the whole Empire! Caesar himself could not have a better horse."

"Interesting that you should say that. He was sired by one of Caesar’s horses." At my husband’s words, my mouth dropped open. He laughed and shrugged. "Only the best for our son."

As we watched Aurelio admiring his new steed, we did not notice Cicero approaching. "Sir," he called as he came nearer.

Maximus greeted him, "Cicero! Have we introduced you to Aurelio’s new, nameless horse?" A shadow came over his face when Cicero did not play along. "What?" he said softly.

"Riders at the gate, General," Cicero replied. "Praetorians."

Part 8

It took one word to shatter the happy, peaceful world I had been living in for these many months: Praetorians. I looked over at Maximus, whose face was set like stone. "Perhaps they are just passing through, and are inquiring as to your health," I offered hopefully.

He turned and fixed me with an incredulous look. "Perhaps," he replied flatly. He sighed deeply, and then walked over to Aurelio. "Aurelio, I think your pony would like to go inside. You may walk him to the stables." He nodded to the hand. "Antoninus, would you go with him, please?"

"Yes, sir," the hand replied. "Come, young master, we will make your friend comfortable in his new home."

Aurelio looked quizzically at his father, then at me. "Papa, may I stay with him in the stable tonight?"

"No, son," Maximus replied quickly. "I want you in the house tonight. You may spend as much time as you like with the pony tomorrow, but tonight…" His voice trailed off.

Tonight I want my family around me, I knew he was thinking. As Aurelio skipped off to the stables with his new prize, I watched as the Praetorians approached. I thought back to the last time I had watched such a procession; they had brought my husband home to me hurt and sick, and now that he was well and happy, they were going to take him away. I had never felt such hate as I felt at that moment for those men who had just halted their horses in front of us.

One of the men dismounted and approached my husband, saluting. "Hail Caesar."

"Hail Caesar," my husband replied, returning the salute. "Quintus, you look well."

"As do you, General. I am pleased to see you in such excellent health. When last I set eyes on you…"

"Yes, well…" Maximus cut him off. "Quintus, my wife Cecaelia. Beloved, this is Quintus, Captain of the Praetorian Guard. We served in Parthia together."

"Lady," Quintus bowed.

"Praetorian," I replied coldly. "Is this is a social visit?"

"I am afraid it is not, Lady," Quintus replied, and I heard another sigh from my husband. Quintus turned to Maximus. "General, if I may speak to you in private, I have much to tell. And I am afraid the news is not good."

Maximus ran a hand through his hair sadly. "Come inside, Quintus. Excuse us, please, Cecaelia," he said wearily as he led the Praetorian into the house.

I stayed outside, not wanting anything to do with the conversation I knew was going on within those walls. I paced, I picked wildflowers, and I sang silly, half-remembered tunes, anything to get my mind off the matter at hand. When at last, the Praetorian emerged from the house, walking past me with a crisp, "Honored to have met you, Lady," I turned to see my husband standing dejectedly in the doorway.

As the guards rode away, I walked to Maximus, took his hand, and led him back inside. We sat on a bench in the kitchen, Maximus staring at our conjoined hands. "Husband, tell me. What news?"

He shook his head in sadness and disbelief. "Lucius Verus is dead."

"The Emperor’s brother? How? When?"

"Not long ago. In the north. The Germanic tribes are on the move again. Great battles have been taking place in many areas. They even crossed the Danube and attacked Aquileia."

"And Lucius Verus was killed in one of these battles?"

He nodded. "Yes. The Emperor is taking it very badly. He brought the body back to Rome himself, and Quintus has said he is determined to avenge his brother and drive them back beyond the Danube. Without his finest general, the task is daunting, indeed. Lucius will be sorely missed."

"Lucius was one of Caesar’s finest generals," I said quietly. "He has another." Maximus lifted his head from his examination of our hands, and looked in my eyes. "He has you."

"Quintus and the others are camping outside the gates tonight. But they will be back tomorrow, and I am to go with them. To Germania." His grip on my hand tightened. "Germania," he sighed. "It may as well be the far side of the world."

"It is not so far away," I said simply.

"Three yards beyond our gates is too far," he answered quietly. "But I am needed. The Emperor is in poor health, and his brother’s death has hit him hard."

"As I am sure it has affected the Lady Lucilla," I added. "I weep for her loss. I can truly imagine her sadness, having come so close to losing you so recently. I would go mad from the pain."

Maximus chuckled grimly. "Somehow, I doubt her reaction would be the same, beloved."

"You have a harsh view of her, husband," I scolded him. I knew of their relationship prior to our meeting; I also knew it did not end well. But I could not believe that someone who once meant so much to my husband could be so hard of heart. "I am sure she is devastated."

"Yes, I know. I do not mean to sound so cruel. There is one person, though, that I am certain will shed no tears."

"Who?"

"Commodus. There was no love between them, that is certain. I could never tell, though, whether he was jealous of Lucius’ love for Marcus – or for his sister." Maximus hung his head. "Poor Caesar. To have all the power in the world, and to have such a family."

I combed my fingers through his hair. "You are also his family, love. You have been a son to him for many years. And that is why he calls on you now."

"I have a duty to him," he said, looking up at me through a curtain of hair, "But I also have a duty to you. And to our son."

"Maximus, look at me. Look into my eyes." I drew him up from his slumped position and placed my hands firmly on his shoulders. "You are a soldier of Rome. I never deluded myself into believing you were not, or would never be again." At his incredulous look, I added, "Well, at least I never completely deluded myself." We smiled at each other sadly. "You serve at the pleasure of Caesar. And he needs you. Rome needs you. And if you keep Rome safe, you are keeping us safe."

He looked at me with such love, I thought my heart would burst from my chest. "My whole life is about keeping you safe. I would die for you."

I drew him to me and kissed him tenderly. "No, my love," I said. "Live for us."

The rest of the evening passed quietly. Aurelio could sense something was wrong, although we tried to maintain the air of celebration for his sake. He was seated in his father’s lap, playing quietly with one of his new toys, when he suddenly stopped and looked up at Maximus. "You’re going away again, aren’t you, Papa?"

Maximus kissed the top of his head. "Yes, I am. I am needed by Caesar."

"But we need you here," our son whimpered. "Can’t someone else go fight?"

"I’m afraid not," Maximus replied. "I have a great deal more experience than most of the men that are there, and Caesar wants me there."

Aurelio squirmed angrily out of his father’s arms. "I don’t care what Caesar wants! I hate him! He’s making you go away."

"It is my duty, son. When Caesar calls me, I must go."

Aurelio glared at his father for a moment, then said very quietly, "Then I hate you, too."

The words struck Maximus like a physical blow. He flinched, and swallowed hard, unable to find words to answer his son’s horrible statement. "Aurelio!" I shouted, "For shame! You will not speak to your father that way!"

"Cecaelia, peace," Maximus finally said very calmly. "Aurelio, do you really hate me?"

The boy’s eyes still flashed. "Yes. You will leave us again, and I hate you."

"Then you are not the little boy I have seen in this house for these many months. You cannot be the little boy who kissed me and slept by my side when I was ill, or who told me stories to entertain me during my convalescence. You cannot be that boy, because all I felt from him was love, and I love him with all my heart." He watched patiently as Aurelio’s angry façade began to crack; after a moment, he added, "You are that little boy, aren’t you? You’re my little boy?"

Tears fell from our son’s eyes as he nodded. "I don’t want you to go away. They’ll hurt you again. Or they’ll send you to Elysium. I don’t want you to die, Papa."

Maximus held his arms out to the boy. "Come here, my little man." Aurelio ran back to his arms. "Shhh, it’s all right. I will be very, very careful, and I will come home, and you will show me how well you ride your new horse. Agreed?" He wiped the tears from Aurelio’s cheeks with his thumbs as Aurelio sniffed loudly, a harsh, congested sound that made my husband smile. "I shall take that as a yes."

I walked over to where Maximus sat with Aurelio in his arms, and wrapped my own arms around them both. "And we will hold you to that promise," I whispered, my own tears falling.

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